May 2013
twistedviper:
whorusszahhak:
perfectionistdia:
whorusszahhak:
don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish
But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.
thatS REALLY...
orangelemonart:
yeezytaughtme:
love yourself like kanye loves himself
believe in yourself like kanye believes in himself
know you’re the shit like kanye knows he’s the shit
This is actually really great because Kanye West has fought depression and suicide this sort of confidence worked for him and wow Kanye West. Anyone who is depressed, believe you are the Kanye Best.
platypusnoise replied to your post: i just ate an entire can of peas + the pea juice…
reeeesty
REEEESTY
hallloween:
I’m crying because I’m eating brownie batter with a spoon that looks like this:
and when the batter seeps through the holes it looks like this:
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
waitingforironman4 replied to your post: I JUSTED POOPED
Beth?
Yus
me: i'm so lonely
person: hey
me: leave me alone
mother-fucking-avengers:
fankiero:
fankiero:
I call this game how many pieces of uncooked spaghetti can I throw at my cat until she gets pissed off and bites me
39
i bet she’s spaghetting tired of your shit
mandarkslab:
Look for the girl with a broken smile.
ask her if she wants to stay a while.
worb:
to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names
if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
meladoodle:
juilan:
My ears. They are ringing.
are u gonna answer em
3 tags
mr and mrs granger: why are there empty picture frames in my house
meladoodle:
sext: why aren’t you responding to me haha
allister-flowerster:
unironic-enthusiast:
Positive alternative to “the walk of shame”:
“Got Laid Parade”
Yes.
“stride of pride”
“post-cock walk”
“just-touched-a-butt strut”
“took off my pants dance”
“g-spot trot”
“had fun with the clit, time to split”
I’M HONESTLY LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW
OMFG
actualcannibal:
nevermind-you:
sociallyawkwardjesus:
actualcannibal:
actualcannibal:
wow chubby babies are literally the cutest I could just eat them up
ok wow your url definitely makes this problematic
You just commented on your own post pretending to be someone else
if you click on actualcannibal’s name on the second comment you get directed to
my url
HOWEVER
taking a look...
potential-and-difference:
prop-215:
dazegetbrighter:
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
legendariess:
Are you a
or a
dirtywombat:
I can be your hero baby
I CAN KISS AWAY THE PAIN
kappa773:
teamfreesexuality:
proudlyinsane:
timelord-and-fishcustard:
There’s a difference between
and
The fact that we all know what this means really says something about our social lives
you should all go to your blogs and hover over them
You should
easterliliesriseinthewest:
bonushumor:
f is for friends who do stuff without you
u is for ur alone
n is no one wants to be with you because all you do is sit at home
down here in the deep blue abyss they call tumblr
shavingryansprivates:
hannabarbarian:
basketball is so stupid like okay cool you can breathe in poison gas for 20 minutes and then die what’s the big deal
i don’t think that’s how you play basketball
moonflowerlights:
If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
IF ANYONE HAS JOHN GREEN'S REAL TUMBLR LET ME KNOW
fishingboatproceeds:
I will let you know if I discover anything.
theangelgabrieldidmyhair:
The Yahoo people actually coming to look at the site they want to buy
maleteen:
if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
laughcentre:
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
dont even think of touching a penis
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
yo-ymmat:
melodyquill:
the-strider-strudel:
dreamofserenity626:
nooby-banana:
you can walk diagonally in pokemon x and y
YOU
CAN
WALK
DIAGONALLY
DIAGONALLY
DIAGONALLY
DIAGONALLY
DIAGONALLY
D
I
A
G
O
N
A
L
...
themightynarwhal:
sloths are cute but their skeletons are fucking creepy i mean
looks like something a nightmare pooped out
accio-superwhomerlockid:
theroachsalad:
...
5 tags
5 tags
rnedia:
everyone in harry potter treated luna like she was crazy for believing in weird shit like they didn’t go to wizard high school
poopflow:
a little party never killed nobody (except jay gatsby)
elux:
I’ve played entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen.
